Around the Holiday Table: Estate Planning Reminders

As the holiday season approaches, our homes fill with the warmth of shared meals, laughter, and cherished family stories. It's a time when multiple generations gather, often for the only time in the year, to celebrate traditions and create new memories together. While these moments are rich with emotion and connection, they also present a valuable opportunity to talk about the future, particularly estate planning—though it may seem like a challenging topic to broach.

Nearly 55% of U.S. adults don't have a will or estate plan in place. This statistic is staggering when you consider the peace of mind and clarity such planning can offer. Without a clear plan, probate can consume 3–7% of an estate's value and extend over long periods, causing strain. Furthermore, 58% of families without an estate plan report disputes or conflicts after a loved one’s passing. Estate Planning Statistics, Probate Costs, Family Disputes.

For Adult Children to Ask Parents:

These questions can ensure your family is prepared for the future, with no hidden surprises:

• Do you have an up-to-date will or trust in place? Establishing clarity in estate division helps avoid conflicts.
• Who have you chosen to make financial and medical decisions if you’re unable to? Knowing this avoids any confusion in critical moments.
• Have you shared your wishes for medical care and end-of-life planning? This ensures your preferences are understood and respected.
• If something happened tomorrow, would we know where to find your important documents and accounts? Having open access prevents last-minute scrambles.
• Are there heirlooms or traditions you’d like us to know the stories behind? Ensuring family values and stories transcend generations enriches legacy.
• Do you feel confident that the people you’ve chosen to handle your affairs are still the right ones? This question is vital as relationships change over time.

For Parents to Ask Adult Children:

These questions can help your children think about their future while preserving family harmony:

• Do you know where to find my important documents in case of an emergency? Having a roadmap provides peace of mind for all.
• Have you considered creating your own will or an estate plan? Early preparation can prevent future complications.
• If you received an inheritance tomorrow, would you know what to do with it — or who to turn to for help? Guidance ensures responsible management of family wealth.
• Are there family keepsakes or traditions you’d be heartbroken not to have carried forward? This can help tailor estate planning to preserve what matters most.
• If you had to step in to help us — financially or medically — what support would you need? Understanding needs in advance can relieve potential pressures.

To bring up these topics without turning your gathering into a formal meeting, consider a quiet moment during a leisurely walk or after a meal. Framing estate planning as a gift—an act of caring—makes these discussions less daunting. It's about ensuring those you love aren't burdened later.

Having these conversations now, however brief, can prevent future confusion, legal disputes, and emotional pain. If you’re uncertain where to start or need help guiding these discussions, don't hesitate to reach out to a trusted advisor. Estate planning isn't just about money; it's about giving your family the gift of clarity and love.